Waitin fer Gork

Written by Joseph Channon

The Ork camp had been unusually quiet all evening. Usually the lads would have been scrappin by now or at least trying to pull off some ridiculously insane stunts involving bikes, high speed and at least 1 fatality.

The trouble was that everyone had got bored. Under the inspirational leadership of Warboss Ragshed they had chased a small force of Umies to this backwater planet and promptly stomped them into the groun

Unfortunately that had been several months ago and now everyone was sitting around waiting for something to do/kill. The word around the camp had been that the boss had got lost and was trying to think of a good excuse to give the lads.

This particular rumour had lasted until Ragshed had found the Nob responsible for it and then beaten him to a pulp with a Grot as an improvised club.

This had unfortunately left the speed freaks in his army leaderless (or maybe it was fortunate).

Now of course different rumours were being circulated. The most popular one was that Ragshed was actually in direct communication with Gork and together they were coming up with a plan that would allow the lads to kick in as many of the weedy Umies as they liked.

Thus it was that shortly before the darkness fell, Ragshed finally left his hut and announced to the boys that he had a very cunning plan.

“Roight listen up lads I haz had an idea” bellowed Ragshed.

“Wots dat den boss?” Asked one of the lads.

“It az come ta my attenshun dat dere iz an Umie town about many miles frome ‘ere.” Began Ragshed.

“Wot we iz gonna do iz we iz gonna smash dere town and den nick any hulks we findz. Den we’ze gonna fly around until we get to da promised land!” Exclaimed Ragshed.

“Errm boss, where exactly iz dis promised land?” asked one of da ladz.

“Well obviously itz wherever dere iz da most fightin!” explained Ragshed (sometimes the ladz could be really thick).

“Wot like da Waaagh?” asked a different boy.

“No ladz dis iz gonna be much better den da Waaagh. Dis iz gonna be like a soopa Waaagh!”

At this point a large wave of murmuring spread through the assembled boys.

“Thanx Gork” thought Ragshed “dis woz jest wot I needed.”

Fiction